So What About Minimalism?

First off, I have been a negligent blogger again, but such is life sometimes. The last month and a half have been a crazy time for me -- is there ever a time when I don't say that? However, I have finished assignments, added more to my workload, we have traveled and we have had guests, just about every weekend in the month of November. Truth be told, I am quite ready for life to return to normal, but I unsure what that means anymore. For the next year, my life will pretty much be a series of coursework and traveling.

But today, I want to write about something that I have been considering for the better part of this year: minimalism. What does it mean? Does it apply? Why or why not? This is a hot-button topic. And it is all the rage, like kale. (By the way -- ew, there is a reason it is used as garnish at the deli counter, partly kidding). However, just because it is currently an issue of our day, does it have relevance in the life of a believer?

Home Sweet Apartment

So we are settled into our apartment and I promised a few friends I would post some pics of our new space. I am honestly loving our new home, and I have found some ways to be creative and fun with the pieces we already own. So here's the tour! 

What to do when your day just sucks

So today has been one of "those" days, if you know what I mean. Truth be told, it wasn't that horrible, I guess, I just had a few moments I really wish I could rewind and redo. 

My husband has been working weird hours lately, so in turn, I sleep weird hours and also operate in my daily routine in a somewhat dysfunctional way. Things actually started off fine, we overslept, though because our time to bed was so late, it didn't really feel like it. 

I heated up leftover breakfast burritos for my man, and some oatmeal for myself (hey, I am slowly trying to be more healthy, but don't give me too much credit yet, just you wait).

On moving, mosquitos, and momentum//

Photo: mine, designed here

I have to be honest, the last month has been incredibly hectic and busy for me... maybe more so for me individually than for my DH as well. Right after we got news of our cross-country move, we decided it would be wise for me to return to Cali to pack up our household and move everything into storage until paperwork and such is finalized. That is a storage unit in California, while we temporarily reside in a tiny hotel room in Kansas-just for a month or so until all the papers have been signed and we can find an apartment or house to rent here. That being said, I had a to-do list a mile long, with responsibilities to take care of, belongings to sort, sell, donate, or pack, as well as schoolwork to maintain. I can't tell you the relief I have felt having all the big stuff done. 

Well coming back to Kansas has taken some adjusting as well, as can be expected. I think distance with my man gets harder the longer we are married, you can read more about that on GUTS. Anyway, it wasn't quite the same level of ache as an overseas deployment, but I still missed him immensely and felt even more overwhelmed at the idea that I would have to pack everything (including the man cave, which needless to say, I know nothing about) almost by myself, along with just a couple of amazing friends. So despite all those emotions, it has been wonderful being back together after a month of separation, but I almost had a melt-down when I returned to a bachelor-padded out hotel room ;)

My short list for a new season

I'm laying next to my husband, who at 1:40 am, is peacefully sawing logs while he sleeps. Perhaps that is one reason sleep won't come easily for me. But another is that I've been mulling over ideas and plans. Let me back up a bit... Last year my husband applied for a permanent position within his company which would not require him to travel overseas as often. The opportunity was for a job here in Kansas. Of course the process of applying for a new position, interviewing, and being hired is always a lengthy one. It was back in February that he was able to do the interview, and this several months after applying.
So needless to say, we have eagerly awaited an answer. There have been so many instances where we've just grabbed hands, prayed over the situation and left it in God's hands. He has been here on a temporary assignment since early May. I followed him not long after, and still we have continued waiting. Ugh, let me tell you, there were times when that was just agonizing. A lot of decisions were hinging on a "yes" or "no" from HR.
There we were, waiting, hoping, praying, when ten days ago my husband got a call from the human resources department

Summer Lovin'

Summer is officially here and I couldn't be happier. As much as I love this time of year, it is easy to let boredom from an unstructured routine  lack of routine creep in and keep the time from being as fun as it can be. Now some of this won't apply to me since I am a student and for all intents and purposes don't take a "summer break," but its okay, it keeps me on track to have my degree in hand in a year and a half or so. The thing is though that my education plan is flexible and allows me short weekend trips to visit family and friends, and the ability to watch seasonal blockbusters with my man, which are wonderful by the way. 

Newport Beach, CA 2013

So to give you plenty of opportunities to maximize this fabulous season, I thought I would give you a few ideas to break it up a little bit and add a skip to your step. 

Bird's-eye view to the whole parade///

Times of late, it seems that I find myself struggling in my times with God. I have had two people in the last week ask how that is going, and one of them just a lovely stranger I met at Starbucks. Another is a good friend and knows me well... and struck the nail precisely on the head. But it seems to me that I am not the only one experiencing a challenge in this area of my life. 

It is so easy to get caught up in what has to be done in life on a daily basis, and a lot of other things demand time and priority. And since God is a gentleman, He never demands that time of us, nor does He tap His foot impatiently when we fail to fulfill those commitments and expectations. In fact, He doesn't even need it. This concept blows my religious thinking, which has been shattering for the last six or so years. 

On things like river trails and such..

This gorgeous trail was most definitely hiked by my husband and I today. See, we are in the process of trying to become more healthy and active, and this trail running parallel to the local river seemed a good choice for starters... notice seemed. Don't get me wrong, the beauty and viridescence of this manmade path in the woods was unlike any I've seen in the last few years of living in the plateau desert of California. I have truly missed the greenery that the Midwest proudly boasts of in grass and trees. 

Authentic

This week I have had the pleasure of visiting my hometown and being surrounded with long-time relationships. There has been ample conversation, laughter, and coffee-lots and lots of coffee. I really like coffee, and apparently, so do most of my friends. I have had several of these dates already and have three on the calendar for tomorrow.
A common thread I have seen through these conversations is an earnest desire and longing for authenticity. It is woven into the fabric of this millennial generation. We crave what comes with being genuine, and "real," is the word we like to incorporate into our vocabulary to encourage honesty, truth, and a deeper perspective.
I struggle with this at times because part of my upbringing hid the reality of society while focusing on the "power of positive words." I do believe the words we speak are life-sucking or uplifting, they can wound or heal, they can destroy or build. I've experienced this phenomenon in my life and can attest to the fact that it does make a difference in attitude, behavior, and even physical health.
However, where we are at in this stage of life, and place in our culture, we want people to cut the fake, pull off the façade, and live life without the mask of pretense. I personally find honesty invigorating. It can be difficult to hear at times, but truth creates space for change when spoken with love. That doesn't always soften the blow though-it depends on the speaker and the heart of the listener.
Here's the rub, authenticity brings with it candor, vulnerability, and at times, disagreement. I know that I can be too candid at times. Sometimes I lack discretion, and according to King Solomon, "a woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig's snout." (Proverbs 11:22) That image reminds me what I don't want to imulate. Despite my struggle with this, my heart is to be transparent, to love truly and without attempting to change people. That isn't my responsibility. My responsibility is to reveal the grace and love of God as an image-bearer of Christ to the best of my ability and rely on Him to take it the rest of the way.
That being said, the craving is not diminished. It only grows with each encounter I have. So I'll sip my coffee while we talk and I'll be prepared to take a look inside and evaluate my life in truth. The way it works is symbiotic, but the space it fosters  for freedom and change is well worth it's weight in gold. I'm taking on the challenge of losing fake and choosing to be true. Dare to join me? 

//LOVE WINS//

   

Sometimes in life-or in marriage, specifically- you have wonderful, romantic moments, and sometimes you fight for no reason at all. Sometimes you also have moments that are disappointing and hurtful-and it usually isn't only one sided. When I have been hurt, I also try to hurt back so that the scorecard is even, although one of the best pieces of advice I have heard was to "never keep score." That is sometimes hard to adhere to when you live in such close proximity with another human being. 

    

Marriage is simultaneously the hardest and best thing I have ever done in my life. I wouldn't trade it, divorce is not an option either. But there are moments that tension arises because we are flawed and we will disappoint the loves of our lives. It is just inevitable. I have to be honest, last night was one of those times. 

     

I said words carelessly, and he said words carelessly. I got upset and took my pillows into the spare room for the night. I couldn't contain the tears that decided to spill over. I had never done that before and though I still felt anger toward my man, I felt more ashamed of myself. He is going on a business trip soon, and I realized that I didn't want one of our last few nights to have that tension over us. So I took myself and my pillows back to bed with my husband. He was asleep by the time I returned, and resolution would not happen last night. 

    

I woke up this morning with a crick in my neck from sleeping poorly, and rolled to my side in hopes of a more comfortable position. He also rolled over and put and arm around me and whispered bravely, "I am really sorry about everything, I love and I want you to know that." After that, we were able to have a brief discussion about the issue at hand and how we were both disappointed and effected. Then we got up and I folded the pile of white laundry that I've been neglecting for days and he cleaned up the glass-bottled root beer explosion in the freezer due to forgetting that they were in there before last night's hockey game. 

    

We shared a few hugs, kisses, and apologies, but it was a simple resolution-not like something you might see in the movies. Because that is not what marriage is truly about. Yes, we love deeply, yes, sometimes we fight dirty, but at the end of it all, he is mine and I am his and we are in this for the long haul. It's not perfect because we are not. But I think that is part of what makes this a beautiful journey. 

In the midst of all the frustration last night, I was aching to write; I erased every attempt just because it was too raw, too in the moment. I was hurt and I had hurt the man I love and the right words just wouldn't come. But today, we are at peace again and my heart is back to its correct place. 

I write these things because in my aim to be transparent, I do not want to gloss over the truth. My hope is that perhaps someone else will be able to find the courage to stay committed to a difficult relationship, be it marriage or even with a child, friend, or other family member. Love isn't easy and it isn't just a feeling, it is a choice. This was portrayed in the greatest example of love that ever existed in the person of Jesus Christ. 

"This is real love-not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." -1 John 4:10

Jesus died because he loved so much. Love is about sacrificing oneself for the good of others, and looking at them and regarding them with worth and value. Last night, even in the heat of my tears, I was able to remember this and seek to regard my husband with value and love-without conditions. It was this reminder that brought me back and this that keeps me choosing every day to love when it is deserved and when it isn't. I hope that in whatever situation you may find yourself today, you can remember that love wins-even if it means something as basic as cleaning up the messes and folding the laundry. 

*Picture credit: Aurora Vilchis http://auroravilchis.com/

*Scripture passage taken from the New Living Translation.